I don’t know what kind of environmental impact could have been generated by a bunch of six-year-olds running around the White House lawn, but fortunately, I no longer have to worry.  Our government has put on its thinking cap and found away to limit the ecological destruction caused by the annual toddler event.

The solution to the devastation?  Better eggs. 

This year’s eggs will be made of a recyclable paperboard compund that, praise be, contains absolutely NO wood fibers from endangered forests.

Since I know how concerned you’ve all been, I’ll continue.

In addition to the compressed paper, the eggs will feature vegetable-oil inks coated in a water based finish designed to be colorful, eco-friendly, and more expensive than last years eggs.

Finally, this administration is starting to solve the problems people really care about.  Up next?  Avatar depression!

- Robert Laurie