We’d like to congratulate president Obama on the success of the Stimulus.  According to the government’s stimulus tracking website, Recovery.gov, the President’s steely-eyed leadership has succeded in “creating or saving” jobs all over the country, and America is better for it. 

Let’s not quibble over the fact that it is 100% IMPOSSIBLE to count how many jobs were “saved.”  Today’s a day to celebrate.

Let’s go through Recovery.gov and take a look at a few districts where they’re enjoying the good news!

Minnesota

57th Congressional District: spent $600,000 – “created or saved” 35 jobs
27th Congressional District: spent $3,159,657 – “created or saved” 2.5 jobs
13th  Congressional District: spent $42,109 – “created or saved” 5 jobs
00th Congressional District: spent $0.00 – “created or saved” 0 jobs

Arizona

15th Congressional District: spent $761,420 – “created or saved” 30 jobs
86th Congressional District: spent $1,000,000 – “created or saved” 80 jobs

Michigan

31st Congressional District: spent $1,650,890 – “created or saved” 0 jobs
21st Congressional District: spent $810,000 -  “created or saved” 17 jobs
22nd Congressional District: spent $722,190 – “created or saved” 0 jobs
23rd Congressional District: spent $214,843 – “created or saved” 2 jobs
83rd Congressional District: spent $155,820 – “created or saved” 1 job
60th Congressional District: spent $56,328 – “created or saved” 0 jobs
37th Congressional District: spent $11,933 – “created or saved” 2 jobs

Hey, wait a minute…..I live in Michigan, and know for a fact that we only have 15 Congressional Districts…..I must be doing something wrong….

Nope.  I’m not.  In fact NONE of the districts above exist at all.  Could there be shenanigans on a government website?  Never!  It must be a simple error in these three states.

Sadly, the problem isn’t limited to these three states.  Virtually EVERY state and U.S. territory lists millions of dollars spent in non-existent locations.  For example:

Oklahoma lists $19 Million spent to “create or save” jobs – all in bogus districts.

Iowa claims $10.6 Million, again, in places that do not exist.

Connecticut somehow managed to “create or save” 25 jobs without spending anything.  Of course, this happened in the mysterious 42nd district, otherwise known as the old “Phony 42nd.”

The tiny Northern Mariana Islands spent a whopping $36.5 Million to “create or save” 145 jobs in the 1st and 99th Congressional districts.  You guessed it, neither exists.

Similarly, the U.S. Virgin Islands spent roughly $80 Million in phantom districts.

Puerto Rico jumped on the chance to  “create or save” 291 jobs by dropping $47.7 Million in it’s fictional 99th district.

The administration is claiming that all of these errors are nothing more than clerical, that there was some sort of problem with how the numbers are added to the site.  however, Recovery.gov lists HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of dollars in DOZENS of bogus districts. 

Remember, this site is the place that Obama gets his numbers when he’s trying to convince us of what a great job he’s been doing.  If it’s just an error, which is painfully hard to believe, it’s a massive mistake – one more disasterous chink in the Obama administration’s credibility.  If it was done on purpose?  Well, let’s just say that  calls for a Republican president’s impeachment would be immediate.

Last year, the people who run Recovery.gov were given an $18 Million Dollar federal grant to “promote transparency” - money well spent.

Given that the unemployment rate is still on the rise, with 500,000 new jobless claims last month, it would seem that new districts may be the only things Obama’s stimulus has actually created. 

Then again, he’s always been a creative guy. 

Here he is, on the 2008 campaign trail, creating states:

These days he’s just creating districts.  Maybe that’s a step in the right direction…..

- Robert Laurie