Detroit City Council President Pro Tempore Monica Conyers, who can be seen in the above clip defending herself after apparently being “disrespected” by Shrek, has entered a guilty plea regarding federal bribery charges.

The charges stemmed from a multi-million dollar sludge removal deal the troubled city made with a company called Synagro Technologies.  When the contract fell apart, rumors began circulating that Synagro had been paying off unknown members of the city council.  On February 3rd of this year, an outraged Conyers actually had the audacity to recommend that Detroit sue the company for offering the bribes.  Little did she know that she was being watched closely and was followed on multiple occasions as she drove to fast-food restaurants where she was given envelopes full of cash by Synagro representatives.

A statement released by US Attorney Terrence Berg stated that “this investigation has not uncovered evidence sufficient to support charging any other elected members of the Detroit City Council with taking bribes or engaging in acts of corruption relating to the Synagro contract.”  He added that “the evidence offered no suggestion that United States Representative John Conyers, Ms.Conyers’ husband, had any knowledge or role in Ms. Conyers’ illegal conduct.”

The investigation took two years to complete, and Ms. Conyers’ sentence has yet to be detrmined.

-Robert Laurie

Once seen as a possible 2012 Republican presidential candidate, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has just admitted to an affair with an Argentinian woman during his recent disappearing act.  The announcement all but eliminates any hope for his White House run.

After apologizing to a litany of friends, family, and colleagues, the Governor confirmed that his recent Argentine mystery trip (during four days of which his location was unknown even to his staff) was in fact a rendezvous with his South American girlfriend.

Sanford was the chairman of the Republican Governor’s Association, and a staunch advocate of family values.  It looks like he has resigned from both positions.

Republicans, if you have ANY hope of rescuing your disastrous ruin of a party, it’s time to end this kind of BS.  Hypocrisy, betrayal, and incompetence are literally destroying you.  If it doesn’t stop, it’s all over for the GOP.

Libertarians?  Are you paying attention?  Your time is approaching.

-Robert Laurie

Proving himself utterly incompetent, and completely incapable of learning from his own mistakes, Barney Frank has AGAIN asked Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to relax their mortgage standards.

In March, Fannie Mae said it would no longer guarantee mortgages on condominiums where less than 70% of the surrounding units had been sold.  Freddie Mac is going to implement the same restrictions next month.  Also, Fannie Mae has said that it will not purchase mortgages in buildings where over 15% of owners are delinquent on condo fees.

Barney Frank, chairman of the House Financial Services Committee,  thinks these new restrictions are “too onerous.”  Legislators on the committee have asked Fannie and Freddie to make “appropriate adjustments.”

Unbelievable.  This is the same man, recommending for the SECOND TIME, the same measures that most worthwhile economists blame for the mortgage meltdown in the first place.  Frank’s incompetence was already approaching criminal levels, but his unwillingness to learn from his own failures is truly remarkable. 

People of Massachusetts!  Please!  End this insanity!

-Robert Laurie

Newly released tapes of Richard M. Nixon reveal that, while he was afraid abortion would lead to “permissiveness,” he was not all that concerned about it.  No, tricky Dick believed the true evil of the early 70’s was interracial babies and evidently, abortion was the answer.

The tapes, which Nixon foolishly made throughout his tenure as President, have haunted the failed leader for decades.  Now, they contunue to destroy him, even after his death.

In the newly released segments, Nixon says: “There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white.”  He then pauses and adds, “Or a rape.”

To hear those words from the mouth of an American president is stunning.  Maybe more impressive is the fact that he was stupid enough to put it on tape.  Regardless, it should, once and for all, consign him to the dustbin of history - where he’ll share a room with Carter and Harding.

It’s an ugly peek into the warped mind of a spectacular racist and hopefully, a measure of how far we’ve come.

-Robert Laurie

Yesterday’s press conference was a weird mish-mash of windmills and a carefully worded mid-level condemnation of the violence in Iran.  Please note that there was no direct condemnation of the people committing the violence, just the activity itself.  Other than that, we got a bunch of malarkey about the supposed brilliance of Cap and Trade and a promise that if we buy into unspecified “clean energies,” America’s economic fortunes will return. 

There was one interesting tidbit, however.

Given that it took Obama almost a week to issue a tepid repudiation of the Iranian crackdown, many Americans have been wondering what took so long.  Fortunately, Obama made the mistake of calling on the only news outlet that ever asks him a tough question.  Major Garrett of Fox News echoed the sentiment of millions of US citizens and asked “What took so long?”

The look of exasperation is priceless as Obama downshifts into his patented “how dare you ask me that” mode.

Interestingly, he seems to get more and more irritated as tries to paint his lack of a previous statement as some kind of strength.  Maybe it’s because, deep down, he knows silence and leadership aren’t the same thing.

Exchanges like this make you miss the days of Helen Thomas.  She may have been a crackpot but at least she had, to borrow a phrase, the audacity to ask real questions.  You know, the kind that aren’t pre-approved by the White House.

-Robert Laurie

Fire up the teleprompter and alert the state-run media, because Obama’s headed back to TV!

In a desperate attempt to shore up his disintigrating agenda (not to mention his approval ratings) President Obama has scheduled a rose garden press conference for 12:30 today.  Issues he’s expected to discuss include health care reform, jobs, and the situation in Iran.  So, we thought we’d put together a little run down on those issues.

Health Care

Health care reform is coming apart at the seams.  Polls show only 41% of the people want it, and that number drops when you start factoring in questions about how to pay for it.  So far, Obama and the Dems have proposed at least seven different tax hikes, five of which break his promise not to raise taxes on the middle class. They are:

1. Higher alcohol taxes
2. Increases to the Medicare Payroll tax
3. A national sales, or Value Added Tax
4. A 10 cent soda tax
5. A 2% tax hike on those making over $200,000 a year
6. A new employee payroll tax
7. Taxing employer-provided health care benefits

Last week, Obama’s private physician of 22 years publicly slammed the President’s plan,  saying that Obama’s advisers have no grasp of the issues involved with on-the-ground patient care. 

Jobs

Since his inauguration, the US has lost roughly 2 million jobs.  The stimulus package has, so far, failed miserably, unless you happen to be a turtle.  In Florida, 3.4 million stimulus dollars are being spent on a tunnel, so the adorable little shellbacks can get across the street.

Obama claims the stimulus has saved 150,000 jobs.  Of course, he has no way to prove this, since it’s impossible to calculate what “might have been.”  Even if he’s right, that still puts him a whopping One Million Eight Hundred Fifty Thousand jobs in the hole.  With roughly 600,000 new jobs being lost each month, saving a measly 150,000 is nothing to brag about.

Meanwhile, his handling of the auto industry has closed factories and confiscated privately owned dealerships.  The move has cost individuals and entire communities their livelihoods.  Welfare claims are up almost 30% from a year ago, largely due to plant closures.

IRAN

Talk about being late to the party.  When the recent uprisings in Iran started, Obama was unimpressed, saying that when things died down he’d still be willing to sit down and negotiate with Ahmadinejad.  After that, he fell silent while the rest of the world weighed in, mostly supporting the rioting protesters.  Then the Iranian military started killing 16 year-old girls in the street, forcing the President to speak. 

Obama claims that he doesn’t want to see the Iranian regime using the United States as an issue in the uprising.  This is, frankly, ridiculous.  Whether it succeeds or fails, Ahmadinejad and his cronies will always scapegoat the US, just as they always have.  Did Obama really believe that his silence would buy respect from the ayatollah?  According to the New York Times, even Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton were dissatisfied with his sheepish attitude.  By the time he realized he was standing on the wrong side of history, and found the strength to issue a mookish, carefully-worded condemnation of the violence, his moment had passed him by.

TODAY

So now, Obama’s headed for TV again.  The media will, no doubt, wrap itself around the President like a safety blanket, asking only the easiest of questions.  They will allow him to claim some sort of retroactive moral clarity regarding the situation in Iran.  Obama may admit that there have been mistakes – not that he made them, mind you, but simply that they exist. 

The process of change, he will remind us, is a long one. There will be many ups and downs. 

The overall message will be “Stick with me.  I’m still trying to undo the laundry list of problems handed to me by George Bush.  Remember George Bush?  You don’t like him.  You like me.  Please, just ignore the facts and that nagging feeling that I’m making things worse.  We’ll get through it together.  I promise.”

People are getting tired of the excuses, Mr. President.

 -Robert Laurie