Stay Tuned…..Site Relaunching Soon!

What’s going on here?  A new post!? Indeed. 

Behind the scenes RobertLaurie.net is going through a redesign that will make the site stronger, faster, and better than ever before.  New updates will resume next week, so those of you who’ve been emailing will only need to bear with me a little while longer.

Thanks for the patience and I promise, it’ll be worth the wait.

Bill Clinton Hits Michigan – Can’t Fill a High School Gym.

A while ago, I wrote an article for the Daily Caller.  In it, I argued that the bloom is off the Clinton rose and, despite all the media fawning, he brings very little to the Democrats table.  The guy who was so popular in the 90′s is not the same guy who’s stumping in 2010, and he nowhere near enough of  apolitical star to truly help the Dems.

I got a fair amount of email from people saying I was burying my head in the sand.  Clinton, said the naysayers, is a throwback to a better time - a healthy America lead by a true and proper Democrat who understood what the country needed to thrive.  Never mind that he was impeached, that was a Republican hit.  Ignore the fact that he and his wife tried to implement a massive health care plan that was far LESS popular that the painfully unpopular Obamacare.  Bill was coming back to save the Democrat’s hide, and the faithful were getting that Chris Matthews “tingling” feeling.

So, I’m happy to report that I was right.  Clinton hit Michigan yesterday, trying to drum up support for 20-point gubernatorial underdog, Virg Bernero.  The former president set up a rally in Renaissance High School, an inappropriately named part of the failing Detroit Public School system. In addition to Clinton and his entourage, every statewide Democrat candidate show up to rub elbows with the old grey mare of the DNC.

Unfortunately, the voters did not.

Only about a third of the high school gym was filled, roughly five hundred people.  In his heyday, Clinton would command crowds numbering in the thousands.  In cities like Detroit, where his base is at its strongest, his popularity and influence were extraordinary.  Now, he can barely get 500 people to show up?

Like I said in my Daily Caller piece, Bill Clinton is not enough to make people forget about Barack Obama.  He isn’t going to change any minds and he can’t wipe away the last two, disastrous, years.  The miserable turnout is a reflection of the damage Barry has done to his party, and the former President’s inability to reverse it.

-Robert Laurie

John Dingell trails 44-40 in shock poll

     A little over month ago, when John Dingell sent a letter to supporters claiming that “This year I need your maximum financial contribution to my campaign,” many pundits scoffed.  After all, he’s the longest serving Democrat in the House, having held his seat since 1955.  Only once in all that time was he reelected with less than sixty percent of the vote.  Dingell was considered a shoe-in.  So, when he started sounding the alarm, many wondered if he was truly worried, or just trying to rile up the base in order to raise more cash.

     Yesterday, he began firing off emails telling people not to pay attention to a poll that showed him trailing his challenger, Rob Steele. 

“This is a GOP poll,” He warned. ”Conducted by a firm with GOP ties masquerading as an independent poll, but it’s too early for trick or treats.”

     The problem?  The poll hadn’t been released yet, so no one knew what he was talking about.  Michigan political watchers began scouring the web for the mystery poll, desperately trying to figure out what had Dingell so worried.

     Last night, well after the emails went out, the poll was released.  Jointly conducted by the Democrat-friendly Rossman Group and Republican-leaning Team TelCom, the numbers show John Dingell trailing Republican Rob Steele 44-40, with 11 percent undecided.

     A month ago, when Dingell first intimated that he might be in trouble, polls had him up by at least 11 points.

His early-bird email, advising people to dismiss the new numbers, suggests that he’s sincerely rattled. In drawing Michigan’s attention to the poll before it was released, the 27 term tax-and-spend champion made a rookie mistake. A poll that might have slipped under the state’s radar now has a spotlight on it, giving it even more weight.

Pay no attention to the poll behind the curtain?

Dingell has proven that he’s incapable of taking his own advice.

More at HotAir and TheMichiganView.com

Piers Morgan To Replace Larry King

Larry King has announced that they’ll be rolling his old bones off the set of “Larry King Live” December 16th.  Since his proclamation, the world’s population has been on the edge of a trillion seats, shaking with anticipation, wondering “Who? Who could have the iron-clad journalistic chops necessary to take over such a monumental show?”

At last, we have an answer.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Larry’s replacement will be Piers Morgan – you know, the hard-hitting British journalist who judges “America’s Got Talent.”  So, starting this winter, if someone is going to cancel Seinfeld, or confuse Roman Polanski with Charles Manson, it will be done with an English accent.

- Robert Laurie

10th Amendment Alert – Senate Gun Control Hearing Sep 14?

Now, I’m going to admit right up front, that this is all speculation.  However, when the most left-wing Senate Judiciary Commitee in history schedules a hearing entitled “Firearms in Commerce: Assessing the Need for Reform in the Federal Regulatory Process,” you can assume there’s trouble on the way. 

After all, for Democrats, the word “Reform” generally means “expansion of government power.”   So, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that they’re looking to ease those regulations, right?

Given the recent trend of States reasserting their 10th Amendment rights as they relate to gun control, I think it’s a safe bet that such measures will be the target of the September 14th hearing. 

For now, this is just a heads-up.  We’ll keep an eye on the hearing, and will have more on it later.  In the meantime, if you care about the 10th Amendment, go here for more information

The official listing for the Judiciary Committee hearing can be found HERE

- Robert Laurie

New Technology Facilitates Blog Posts!

For those who’ve been wondering why I haven’t been updating the site, where I’ve been, or whether the crackpots had finally driven me around the bend, the time for an answer has come.

Writing all day, for multiple outlets, was starting to get difficult - especially since I was tied to a desktop PC. 

Fortunately, just in the nick of time, I became aware of a strange, futuristic machine which I believe is being referred to as a “portable laptop computing device.”  I went to a store and tried one out.  To my surprise, it was a revelation.  It sports a feature known as “wireless fidelity” that allows me to update the site from anywhere in the world, as long as there’s a Starbucks nearby.  I don’t know how it works – some kind of magical voodoo I suppose – but I will be using it to the fullest extent.

I’ll be updating the site much more from here out, so “fire up the colortinis and watch the blog posts as they fly through the air.”

- Robert Laurie

New Home Sales Plummet 33%

It’s almost, almost, as if the economic recovery isn’t going as well as we’ve been led to believe.

According to the Commerce Department, new home sales dropped a staggering 33% in the month of May.   In case you’re wondering, yes.  A 33% decline was enough to bring sales figures to an all time low.  Most of the drop was attributed to the fact that would be home buyers no longer receive tax credits for their purchases.

So, let me get this straight, when buying a home lowered your taxes, people bought homes!  Shocking. 

Bear with me, but isn’t this enough to make one think that, if we just lowered taxes across the board, sales might rebound?

What’s that?  Democrats don’t think that way?  Oh.  OK.

- Robert Laurie

Al Franken REALLY wants you to get the joke.

Al Franken (D Minnesota) used to be a comedian.  If you grew up watching Saturday Night Live, you know that before he turned into a bitter, sarcastic crank, he was actually pretty funny.

Given his pedigree, you’d think he’d understand one of comedy’s basic truths.   If you stand there, explaining the joke in a slow, labored, monotone voice, you pretty much guarantee that  it’s not going to be funny. 

Here’s Al, making sure that a cartoon is understood by the simple people of the nation he serves.   Please keep in mind,  this stark reminder that Franken’s funnyman days are behind him cost the taxpayers $174,000.00, plus the price of comic enlargements.

Still awake? Impressive.  We’re sure Franken’s Senate comrades enjoy being treated like a bunch of adorable little morons, just as much as we do.

- Robert Laurie

Unemployment Rises to 9.9%

You’re going to hear a lot about the fact that 290,000 people were hired in April. The administration is touting the number as evidence of the overwhelming success meeting their policies. Unfortunately, as usual with Obama’s numbers, all is not as it seems.

First of all, 66,000 of those jobs are temp jobs created by hiring census workers, leaving about 230,000 new hires in the private sector. That’s all well and good, but the unemployment rate actually rose two points in April, from 9.7% to 9.9%. Why? Well, it seems that some of those people who had previously stopped looking for work, and were no longer receiving unemployment benefits, have run out of cash and are resuming their job search.

So, while 230,000 new jobs were created, there are now more people fighting for them. In fact, the actual unemployment rate (the one that includes people who have given up on their quest for work) has now risen to a whopping 17.1 percent.

So, here’s hoping America is enjoying the “new normal” presented by the Obama administration.  As the actual unemployment rate continues to creep skyward, remember, it’s all just part of ”spreading the wealth around.”

- Robert Laurie

Sexy Girls Causing Earthquakes – According to Senior Muslim Cleric

In the old days, when there was an Earthquake, Al Gore’s environmental crowd was there to tell us how it was caused by pollution – an obvious afront to Gaia.  Then, insane Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez revealed that the U.S. military was causing them with its Earthquake Gun.

Scientists stayed on the sidelines of the debate, but remained in their labs, working feverishly to determine which theory an ignorant populace would be willing to buy.

Now, thanks to the logic provided by a senior Iranian Muslim cleric, we may have a definitive answer.  It is neither God nor machine that is rattling the planet.  It’s sexy chicks.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society,” senior cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi told the Iranian media, ”which increases earthquakes.”

It seems so obvious when he says it.

In his Friday sermon, Sedighi suggested that if women don’t cover up, we’re all headed for big trouble.  “What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?  There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

So ladies, you heard the man.  No more “immodest” clothing.  Burn the Victoria’s Secret card and all of your bathing suits because, if you don’t, the world will not be able to withstand the effects of your hotness. 

Repent, and God may protect you, however.

“If a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God’s power, only God’s power. … So let’s not disappoint God.”

Wise words from a man who is clearly, very, very smart.

- Robert Laurie